Class Work

We had to find our own unique way of saying the following:

1. peas in a pod -   as indistinguishable as twins dressed by a fanatical mother
2. Busy as a bee - as busy as a standard bank employee wearing takkies on payday
3. Flatter that a pancake - flatter than a fly after an encounter with an experienced fly swatter
4. High as a kite -  she was so high that NASA considered funding a space programme.

Describe a voice:
I heard her voice clearly over the banging, crashing and beeping noise in the supermarket. I looked around to see if I could find the source of this ear assaulting sound. The pitch was similar to that if a cat being run over by a steam roller and it appeared that the owner of this reverberation had only managed to capture some of the alphabet as she seemed unable to pronounce any T's or H's correctly.

The View
The green desert of uninvited but now needed pine trees spread out before me in tidy patchwork spaces in the far reaching hills of Howick; The smoke from distant farm fires defused  the scene leaving a monotone haze.
The winter fresh breeze was intermittent as if it wasn't really sure if it should hurry up or stay put while secluded secret pockets of sunshine provided perfect sun bathing platforms for lazy lizards.

Story - From super model to middle aged by a middle aged ex fashion model

From super model to middle aged by a middle aged ex fashion model

 

 

From super model to middle aged by a middle aged ex fashion model

I started off life as one of those buck teethed, Pole thin, lanky ugly kids ; I stood six foot tall at fourteen years old and my mother who was the worlds worst hair dresser insisted on cutting my thick thatch like hair, which only gave me the appearance of a concentration camp survivor.       

Luckily for me my parents invested in a full set of metal braces to sort out my protruding teeth, I begged my mother to stop cutting my hair and to take me to a real hair dresser which really did help, then with a little push from nature my hips and breasts evolved and by the time I was 16 I wasn’t half bad looking. Having shown no real talent for anything but causing trouble at school my folks decided that as I was so tall, okay looking and not very bright I could be a fashion model.

Next think I knew I was sent off to a modelling school in London for a week and then to a Modelling agency in Spain, where to mine and everyone else’s  total surprise I made a successful career out of modelling and ended up working and travelling all over the world for  nearly 15 years. I retired at the grand old age of 31 feeling very old, tired and worn out.

But in the real world, as opposed to the fashion world which marches to its own ever youthful un-ageing beat, thirty is still considered young; No need to concern yourself with the television adverts which promise that you could look 10 years younger in 7 days if you are prepared to smear some sort of age defying snail goo all over your face. You can still wear wonder bras and skin tight jeans comfortably .You feel sexy, young, in control and immortal.

As I understand the ageing process it is a bit like taking an original document and doing a photocopy; then you take the photocopied document and copy that; then take that copy and copy it again and take that copy and copy it etc. And you will find that by the 20^th copy the writing is dull and has lost some of the original print, it may be a  bit fuzzy around the edges but you can still sort of see what it used to say.

The same happens to the cells in your body, from the moment you are born each cell photocopies itself which then photocopies that cell and the process continues until you die. When you start to go grey it is because your hair cells have basically run out of ink and can no longer copy in colour. Wrinkles are just cells duplicating the way you hold your face most of the day; Did you ever notice that parents with young kids always seem to have a bit of a furrow  wrinkle between their eyebrows? I think this illustrates the constant confusion which young parents are subjected to: You always seem to be scrunching your face up saying something like ‘No’ or ‘because I said so’. It would seem that as your children grow up, so your facial expressions change, you get new wrinkles; great horizontal lines which cross your forehead gained from lifting your eyebrows to the heavens while asking your teenager “What have you done now?”  Or ‘How much?’  You should note that the horizontal lines do cancel out the furrowed wrinkle, but you will be left with permanent laughter lines around your eyes as this is one of the many physical by-products of having children.

Wrinkles are not the only dilemma; sagging skin is an additional quandary. While pottering around the farm on my motor bike one beautiful sunny afternoon; with the wind blowing through my hair and the sound track from the movie easy rider playing clearly in my head; I felt young and gorgeous, then I notice a movement in my peripheral vision, to my horror it was the back of my upper arms which were flapping in the wind! Shocked and frightened I slam on brakes and came to a screeching halt, ‘Where has the muscle gone and what is the purpose of this superfluous skin’ I cry, then as the dust settled I realise that anyone who can remember the sound track to easy rider is pretty old and probably should not be making such a scene about a little bit of loose arm skin!

My former super model body now faces its 42^nd year of the cell facsimile process and am definitely showing a some duplicate damage, I  have a forehead filled with wrinkles,  crows feet which wrap their way around the side of my face almost reaching my hair line, all  little gifts from my  darling adolescent! There is the odd grey hair to be found if you look closely and I now wear a bra which comes with shock absorbing abilities rather than push up promises.  I am eternally grateful to the person who invented stretchy Lycra jeans which prevent my now my gravity challenge glutimas maximus from resting on the backs of my knees,  but I remain unsure about the anti wrinkle mollusc slime products – I am not that old yet!

 

Sentence using letters of the alphabet

A Billion Cows Decided Existence Fills Gaps Here In Jolly Kilimanjaro. Life May Not Often Produce Quite Recurring Speculation Though Under-thinking Values Will Xerograph Your Zeal.

Class work 24th May 2011

We each had to create two characters describing their Physical appearance; age; family etc. then we were given a random topic which these two characters were arguing about '- mine was sex and my characters were;
Humphrey the Camel (a 17 year old camel who is sweet but always being teased by his brothers; he works as a pack camel) and Sebastian Willows (23 year old lead singer for a rock band from Toronto and he has a girlfriend called Nat.
Object to write dialogue

Sebastian Willows put down his microphone and stepped down from the stage as Humphrey tumbled into the bar where he was playing.
Humphrey was in a very bad mood as his day had been just too much; 'I am just sick and tired of my brothers' he growled he off loaded his camel pack and plonked himself on a free bar stool.
Sebastian's girl, Nat also noticed Humphrey, as it was not every day that one came across a camel in a bar in Toronto!

The bar man took  Humphrey's order and busied himself behind the counter. Sebastian and Nat approached the camel and introduced themselves and soon the three some where chatting happily.

There was a television in the background; The news presenter was announced breaking news - the President had just passed the new controversial law giving Camels and humans the right to marry.

Humphrey commented that this was great news - Human woman had always held a certain fascination for him.
Sebastian slammed his glass down on the table - Nat and Humphrey jumped. 'It's just not right, not natural he shouted "I mean camels and humans?'
Nat smiled at Humphrey , she privately had always fancied a bit of camel and thought that the law had been pretty harsh on the whole camel / human thing ' Seb!  Chill dude, I mean it's up to the individual really, don't you think?'
Humphrey returned Nat's smile with a wink; the girls always fell for his long eyelashes; 'Times have changed man' he turned back to Sebastien 'and you just gotta move forward with the times or get lost in the past, that's what I say'
'You can not be serious' screamed Sebastian as he roughly grabbed Nats hand and attention.
'Man, I am just saying..."Humphrey grinned as he gently moved his left hind leg closer to Nats under the table and gently began rubbing her calf with his hoof.

My first story printed in Essence of the Midlands Magazine

midlands memories

why vegetarians
CAN EAT
chicken
Words Karen Edwards

Most people become vegetarian for two main reasons:their heath and for the love of all God’s creatures. I was 18 years old when I decided to stop eating meat; being a big animal lover it seemed likea good way to go and
the health thing was just a bonus. I remained a vegetarian for nearly 24 years, feeling that surely my lack of eating meat might have saved hundreds of poor innocent animals.

This way of thinking was all good and well as I had always lived in the city where the only contact I ever had with meat was as I passed the deli section in a supermarket – and then it was always wrapped up in plastic,void of any animal personality.
Then about five years ago I decided to move to the countryside and ended up living on a farm in the Kamberg, complete with all the adorable farm animals, and felt even more justified in my veggie ways.

One day my son went out farming and came home with pockets full of day-old male chickens, so I dutifully made a little home for them and watched the critters grow at an amazing rate.We also organised a few lady chicks and, before we
knew it, had a small population of chickens living in the garden. And our lives had become a living nightmare.

The chickens hated their home so they decided to take up squatting rights on the front patio, where they guarded their territory with military skills,and we were forever being ambushed by a huge male cock who had the most unreal
matrix kick-boxing move, backed by the others all clucking poultry obscenities. The noise was something else. I was always led to believe that chickens only crowed at sunrise, but actually they start at around three in the morning
and continue every 15 minutes until dawn. They will crow at anything for any reason and they are cleverlittle buggers as they always seem to be able find a special spot where the acoustics are particularly fantastic and the crowing
sound really gets to reverberate through and around the house, leaving your ears ringing for hours.

And bigger they got, the more intimidating they got and the bigger their territory got. We resigned ourselves to the fact that the chickens had now completely taken over the entire front of the house while we were left sneaking in and out the through the back door. The dogs were losing weight rapidly as the chickens scared them off and stole their food.
People refused to visit for fear of being attacked – it was like having a group of Columbian drug lords living on your doorstep.

I had always wondered where the term “henpecked” came from, and now I had first-hand experience; if a hen gets sick or has any kind of deformity the other chickens will peck it to death... and I mean death.

Then after about a year of ongoing chicken drama, I arrived home one day to find a chicken on the sofa. It looked so peaceful lying there on its back with its legs in the air. I thought, my Lord, it’s dead! I walked up and leant right over it, trying to figure out how you can tell if a chicken is still breathing, when it woke up. And it screamed. And I screamed. And then there was just chaos, feathers, panic and drama everywhere.

It was then that I lost my cool. I ordered my partner to fix the bird problem. He did, and a few days later he produced the chicken for dinner. Now normally I would have had a fit: oh, the poor little chicken. But before I could chicken out,
I stuffed it, roasted it, and I ate meat for the first time in 24 years – and felt absolutely nothing. So to all you vegetarian animal lovers who truly feel for the fluffy and cute little creatures of the world, understand that chickens are not cute, cuddly or sweet in anyway. They are vicious, evil and just plain nasty animals,and as far as this vegetarian’s
experience of fowls goes, chickens were made to be eaten with gusto, no guilt and veggies on the side.

Olives Unlimited

We were given a basic write up on Jenny Hall from olives unlimited and asked to write an editorial piece:

What started off as a a small hobby, marinating olives for friends and family has now grown into a thriving business "It has been a huge thrill and challenge watching the business grow like it has for the past 15 year's" says Jenny Hall owner of Olives Unlimited.
Jenny's love and passion for food has grown and she had done many food courses over the years, "I take great pleasure in creating products to tantalize the taste bud's" laughs Jenny and with products such as French olives; Greek olives; smoked olives and chilly olives you are sure to find some to satisfy your cravings.
After the success of olives unlimited Jenny moved on to purchase a little company called Bella Melba "I have expanded this business ten times the original size over the past four years and we now produce four flavours of Melba toast; Plain, olive, garlic, and spring onion, and we are very excited to be adding two more flavours to our line by the end of next year'" explains Hall.
Not one to be idle Jenny expanded her world into preparation of fine foods and acquired 'Taste' which produces yummy jams such as olive and sweet chilly jam; chilly ginger jam; just chilly jam; red and white onion marmalade as well as green mazavaroo. "I have got a few new products that I am working on" says Jenny mischievously "But it's all still top secret".
Jenny explains "All our products are packed and  labeled with lots of love and thought, and as suppliers to Woolworths the quality of out products need to be of the highest standard"
Olives unlimited; Bella Melba and Taste produce are sold all over the country. "The Meander; Kwa Zulu Natal; Clarins; Freestate and Port Edward are my strongest markets but I feel privileged and blessed to have these gifts and to share them with South Africa" says Jenny.

The Hand

Our task was to write a short story describing a hand:

The telephone rang and slowly a hand reached out to pick up the receiver; there was a jangle of cheap bracelets and my eye was drawn to the shiny diamante rings that reflected in the light. The skin was soft although you could see from the tiny wrinkles that these hands knew what a hard days work meant. Long plastic blood red nails curled under; hunched as if in stalking mode and ready to be unsheathed at any sign of danger; deadly to the victim. Elegantly the hand completed it journey and delivered the mouth piece to it's owner:
'Hi this is Cindy 0800 sexy phone, what's your pleasure honey?'

It has been quite a while since my last posting...

It has been quite a while since my last posting; 20 questions for Ruth, but that doesn't mean that I am not learning.  I have learnt that in order for something to be News it should always be new. You can revive or follow up on old stories or news  but the original story would have to have been a good one.
What makes a story? Mostly it is prominence, proximity, conflict and trends.
How do you generate content for a story? Personal contacts is one of the strongest ways to find stories, friends always have friends who have friends and so on. We were given a local newspaper and asked to find at least three news worthy stories from the classified section, the ideas were endless and it just goes to show that every one has a story.


We worked on our class website, which is both intimidating and exciting. the chosen name for our webmag is www.step-out.co.za, It is an entertainment guide for the midlands area with write ups on restaurants; local music news; fun activities: all the latest on fashion; stage; art; a section on cars and family fun in the berg. We are hoping to go live in April, so what this space!


We have had so much fun with creative writing, although sometimes I feel that being given a story to write is a wonderful form of mediation, faced with a blank computer screen and a dead line I am able to go totally blank.
Here are some of the off beat tasks we were given:
Using the following four words and write a paragraph story in 3 minutes:
JUG: SWING; FAMILY: ANGEL:


And here is my effort:


With the holidays just around the corner, why not gather the family together and swing by Rawdons country estate, the little angels can play safely in the Kiddies area while the lads grab a jug of local beer.


It looks a bit like a generic advert, but hey I used the words required. The other students were amazing and came up with some really clever stuff.


George Foder came to talk to us about event planning; He is currently organising a fund raiser called 'Jail or Bail'  for the Cansa Association.


The plan is to get local celebrities and business people to go to "jail" for the day, their friends, family and enemies can then pay to either bail their colleagues out of jail or donate to keep them in jail. It will be held at the liberty Mall in PMB. George explained the importance of media when organising such an event. Good media will make an event where as bad or no media will ensure you of a disaster.


Then we went back to the 20 questions home work, which in all honestly I had been avoiding because it really is hard. But Phil is relentless and I was left with no other choice but to suck up and do it!


Important things to think about when preparing your questions for an interview:
The five W's and the H

• What; where; when; why; who and how.

You also have to consider that your story will have to start some where, have a middle and then end, so it is important to think of the past; present and the future.


I continued to avoid the 20 questions home work for a little longer and was encouraged to write my own story. I wrote about the chickens who live on the farm and spent hours and hours working on perfecting my grammar and spelling; only to hand it back to Phil who showed me all the things I never thought to look for: How many times can you say chicken in a story? and how many words describe a chicken?
Go on then...give us 5 other words for horse,dog and cat!


We are also given  the task to write a short story with words that have only one syllable:


A long time gone there was a girl who LIVED in a cave. The cave was set deep in the wood and was hard to find. Here she LIVED with the bird and deer of the wood. The wood folk were close by her when she got food from the green shop. one day a man who kills small deer came to the wood. He had a big ugly van which made a big mess in the wood as he went.


There are a couple of words I just didn't know what to do with and nor did the grammar / spell check! funny!


More creative writing:
Write a story about a man who is standing by a big lake or dam, he has just committed a murder but you can't write about the murder; just describe how he feels by the lake:


I stood at the edge of the dark body of contained water watching the small ripples from the stone I had just thrown in increase in ever expanding circles until the tiny wave reached the shore only to be absorbed by the  silty mud bank; thinking to myself how just one small stone can change the whole surface, yet leave the deep, murky depth of the lake untouched. Once the lake subsides I am left feeling as cold and dark as the water beneath wandering what secrets it holds.


Now write a similar story but the main character by the lake  is a young woman who has just got engaged:
I am not what you would call a romantic so I had a much harder time with this version!


As the water gently flowed past, tickling my bare toes with its ever bubbling song, I closed my eyes and took a full breath of the clean sweet air,  and as I opened my eyes I smiled at the dancing sun rays reflecting off the water; fairly like seed pods fly past as if in a hurry to find a good location to plant roots, while dragon files practice their low flying skills across the mirror like water. A frog sits on over sized armchair singing long forgotten song, while busy birds dash around constructing family homes with the most beautuful views: And I think to myself  'How perfect the world seems to be when you are in love'. 


I also think I should be shot at dawn for that attempt - but hey!


And back to the 20 Questions for Ruth: well now I have got a better flow and I will be interviewing Ruth on Friday morning and lets see what I get!


There are a million other things I am learning from the media school and Phillipa is a wonderful teacher, she has a really fun and relaxed way and manages to get the best out of each of her students through basic bully tactics and genuine praise.

20 questions for Ruth Credo

20 questions for Ruth Credo

Ruth Credo is my amazing friend and next door neighbour in the Kamberg. Ruth is a truly driven person and once she puts her mind to something, she will carry on unrelenting until what ever it is is completed and properly! She has lead a truly interesting life as she is very clever, not afraid of much and always up for a good challenge. I do know quite a bit about Ruth personally so putting together my 20 questions for an interview with her was really interesting as I had to think about things I didn’t know about her and questions I have never really asked her as a friend before. I wanted to get quite a bit of information and about her community projects because the people are very close to her heart and she really does just seem to drive in and around the various villages in the Kamberg area all on her own changing one school or life at a time and never looks for anyone to make a big fuss or  praise her – she really helps people because she loves people and this is the “hook” for my story -  Ruth has also achieved so much in her life before she came to the Kamberg , she  has travelled all over the world climbing / hiking mountains, she was a high powered CA and worked for investec bank in JHB, she has 2 grown kids, she is married, runs a farm with self catering cottages, she gardens, cooks, bakes….in fact our nick name for her is “Martha Stewart on Steroids”  or “Sargent Major” Will do!  But she makes a difference to so many people and I think her story should be told.

1.       You grew up in England, where about & do you have any childhood memories of the UK?

2.       When did you move to South Africa & what was your first impression of Africa?

3.       You were very young when you got married, had children & qualified as a CA – What was the big hurry?

4.       You had a very high powered job in JHB and I understand that you used to hike all over the world  in your spare time, tell me a little bit about that and  which hike/trip do you think really pushed you to your limits?

5.       When you first moved to the Kamberg to take care of your parents, once again you were very young to go into semi-retirement & being such a driven person what did you originally think you were going to do to keep yourself busy?

6.       How did you go about finding people who needed help in the Kamberg and who was the first group or person who took your help?

7.       How do you follow up on all your various projects to make sure that things continue to work after you have moved on?

8.       What projects are you currently working on?

9.       How do you go about organising and getting the funding for your projects?

10.   Who do you feel should be help more responsible for helping and funding the community?

11.   Where do you get your drive and inspiration to do all of this work?

12.   Why is it so all so important to you to you – what do you get out of all the hard work you put in?

13.   Is there an individual or group who has really touched your heart in a special way?

14.   What are the biggest challenges do you think that the people have to deal with every day?

15.   If you won the lottery and could give the community one thing which you think would make a difference what would it be?

16.   How can individuals like you go about making a difference in their own areas?

17.   What community projects do you have planned for the next year?

18.   Looking after one’s elderly parents can been very difficult – how do you cope and do you have any advice for other people who find themselves in the same situation?

19.   You also run a self catering accommodation on the farm: tell me a little about that & does it keep you busy?

20.   You have organic gardens where you grow your own food, you cook, bake, have dogs, horse’s and pigs, you look after your parents & the community around you,  you run a business, you hare married…Do you ever manage to find time just for you? And if so what do you enjoy to do?

21.   (Magic Question) If you could have tea and cake with anyone in the world who would it be and why?

Around and About PMB - The city of Choice

The assignment for the morning was to walk the streets of Pietermarizburg - leaving Phil to guard the car, we set off in the 40 degree heat!!!
It was so much fun and the people were really friendly! It's a crazy, peaceful kind of place, with peolple trading just  about anything everywhere, there are stunning old buildings stuffed between modern buildings, we could have gone on for hours as it was so much fun, but we were called back to the car and into lectures!!!!

Pietermaritzburg is the capital and second largest city of the province of KwaZulu-Natal in South Africa. It was founded in 1838, and is currently governed by the Msunduzi Local Municipality. Its "purist" Zulu name is umGungundlovu, and this is the name used for the district municipality. Pietermaritzburg is popularly called Maritzburg in English and Zulu alike, and often informally abbreviated to PMB. It is a regionally important industrial hub, producing aluminium, timber and dairy products. It is home to many schools and tertiary education institutions, including a campus of the University of KwaZulu-Natal. It had a population of 228,549 in 1991;^[1] the estimated current population is around 500,000 (including neighboring townships) and has one of the largest population of Indian South Africans in South Africa.

         

Street Vendors sign: I love this guys honest and beautifully written board explaining his reason for not giving credit!

 

I found the people on the
streets to be so friendly &
mostly very happy to have their photo taken

There is such a contrast between the old & new buildings in Pietermariztburg.


Liberty Liquors is proud to have been voted “KZN’s Best Liquor Store” for seven years running.
                                                                 

Pietermaritzburg City Hall, constructed in 1893, destroyed by fire in 1895, rebuilt in 1901; the largest red-brick building in the Southern Hemisphere

The first Comrades Marathon took place on 24th May 1921, Empire Day, starting outside the City Hall in Pietermaritzburg with 34 runners. It has continued since then every year with the exception of the war years 1941-1945, with the direction alternating each year between Pietermaritzburg and Durban, the so called up & down runs.

 

what an impressive and beautiful building: the general public are welcome & there is no charge to walk around! You can also hire the hall for private functions.

Another Friendly Maritzburg face!

UmGungundlovu was the royal capital of the Zulu king Dingane (1828–1840) and one of several military complexes (amakhanda) which he maintained. He established his royal kraal in 1829 in the Emakhosini Valley against Lion Hill, just south of the White Umfolozi River.
The name UmGungundlovu stems from the Zulu word or phrase ungungu we ndlovu, which means "the secret conclave of the elephant". Some sources also refer to UmGungundlovu as "the place of the elephant". The word indlovu (elephant) refers to the king of the Zulu people.

The little back lanes in PMB are bursting with trade, shoe shops & hairdressers out number most other shops!

Harwins Arcade: How very sad to see such a beautiful bit of our history just left to ruins after a fire. It's crazy there are shops which are totally gutted and right next door there you will find busy working shop! there are no signs to prevent people from walking around the place: there are people working and living in what should be a condemned building!!!

The people who stay in Harwins see that there is major structral damage to the building: the answer?? Stick a big old pole between the problem!!!

This very styling lady was causing quite a stir as

she strutted her stuff along one of the main streets

Another wonderful example of the old buildings and new shoulder to shoulder.

On one side of the road you can find all the modern technologies and just across the street a building just overgrown in time!

Natural History Museum: On the left you see a sculptue of a fossil and on the right the oversized ants and spider bronze works on the front of the building.
Natal Museum ranks among the top National Museums in South Africa's, a cultural and natural history museum renowned for its unique collections - there are eight natural history and around ten cultural history galleries that include an array of mammals (together with the last wild elephant in KwaZulu-Natal), birds, amphibians, insects, an extensive mollusc collection (there are few South African land snails that are not represented in the Natal Museum) and a life-size T-Rex model.

Epilogue for Karen Edwards

Epilogue for Karen Edwards
Karen Edwards
Born 16/081969 died 07/02/2055

Karen E really took the saying "life begins at 40" quite literally, not that she hadn't had a full and exciting life before 40, but she always said that her life before 40 was just a warm up to the real quest.
Karen was always ready for adventure and there wasn't much she would not try at least once. Her natural talent and passion in life was her photography and she managed to combine her spirit of adventure with her passion for photos and traveled the world working with some of the most respected magazines - she also loved to use her camera to bring public attention to various humanitarian causes as well as publishing various books featuring some of the most iconic personalities of our generation, although her most famous book Ordinary People was closest to her heart &  won her numerous awards.
Her energy and excitement for life was contagious, and even in the last moments of her life she was to been seen laughing with the people, camera in hand!
Karen Leaves behind a Son, five grand children, 8 great grand children and a legend.